Freedom From Worry

"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened." - Mark Twain

When I was a little kid, I worried a lot. As a natural empath, I picked up on my mother's anxieties as an overwhelmed young parent and immigrant in a new country, trying to fit in and create a new life. But I suspect that I had natural worrying tendencies of my own, which were exacerbated by my mother's energy.

The anxiety continued when I grew up. I worried about anything and everything, and used my creative imagination to think of worst-case scenarios fueled by fear.

It's a small miracle that I moved to a place like New York City (and stayed for so long!) because there is so much one could worry about here: crime, financial survival, air pollution, and a million other things.

When I started practicing Reiki, old ego habits that didn't serve my best interests came to my awareness to be changed and healed.

Suddenly I started to wonder what it would be like to stop worrying and being so fearful of life.

Terrorized by my own thoughts

One day, I was talking with a friend. She'd been traveling alone through Mexico and told me how she walked through a city all alone at night, met wonderful people and had such a great time. I looked at her smiling face, and it hit me in that moment. My free-spirited friend didn't worry like I did, and yet she was ok. While I'm not suggesting to give up common sense, my friend helped me realize that my worrying habit wasn't normal, just familiar. I had the freedom to choose another way.

Worrying was a survival tactic that supported a lifelong false belief: I am not safe in this world. I needed to stay in control by anticipating worst-case scenarios so I would never be caught by surprise. But instead of feeling in control, I felt paralyzed by fear and robbed of joy. When I stopped to see the reality of the moment, there was no need to clench the future so fearfully. I was alive, healthy and had everything I needed. Besides, I had lived thousands of pleasant, ordinary days on this Earth so far without any of my fears coming true (or very few, anyway).

It's easier to notice beauty in the moment when you're not busy worrying about the future

I started to change my habits. Now, when I catch myself worrying too much, I do one of a few things (or all of them):

1-Breathe deeply and drop my shoulders.

2-Name exactly what I'm worried about. If I can, I'll write the fears down - that's like shining a flashlight on the monsters in the dark closet. (Once you see them, they aren't as scary).

3-Ask myself "What if...." and complete the sentence with a positive scenario that is opposite to the scary one my fear is imagining. For example: "What if someone hands me money?" (Instead of "what if I get mugged?") The sillier the better, because it distracts the worrying mind from fearful thinking.

4-Become present and notice what is going well. I'm breathing, I'm safe, my belly is full, everything is ok.

5-Call on my angels (use your spiritual guide of choice) to replace the worry in my mind and body with a feeling of peace and breathe it in.

Tiny Guatemalan Worry Dolls 

 It takes practice, and I still worry but I'm quicker to catch it and I no longer feel imprisoned by my fears, and I enjoy my life so much more.

Do you have a worry habit? How do you cope with it? 

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